So it’s crunch time. You’ve worked hard for years, whether it’s in education or at work. You’ve come to a point in your life where before you take that next step forward you’re having a well earned break.
You sit down, you plan your gap year, you choose your destination and you book your flight. Your first experiences of your sabbatical can be greatly affected by the airports you choose. Fortunately, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be travelling either in or out of one of these airports – apart from one obvious inclusion – but just in case, this your early warning.
Los Angeles, California
I flew into here many years ago and was shocked to be greeted by guards with guns glowering grimly as I contemplated the ironic ‘Welcome to Los Angeles’ sign. Welcome is one thing you’re not at this hugely confusing airport. Transport between the terminals is poor, there are no clear directions but plenty of huge queues. Restaurants are generally unhygienic, lacking quality food and overpriced to boot. And the staff – the security staff are so rude! Didn’t Rachel Stevens, the erstwhile member of S Club 7, once sing a song about LAX? I’m sure it was some sort of romance related thing. She’d clearly never been.
Charles De Gaulle, Paris
I’m sure Charles would not be impressed that this facility parades as an airport in his name. A depressing, unclean and badly managed place which has until recently been home to dozens of homeless people. Avoid at your peril. Hygiene standards are extremely poor, food and drink – typically of Paris – is extremely overpriced. On the rare occasions the staff aren’t on strike they still won’t engage in conversation or respond to enquiries. And if they do they’ll feign ignorance. The inter-terminal bus service is next to useless and don’t even mention the queues. Other than that, it’s OK! If your French doesn’t stretch beyond ‘une biere s’il vous plait’ you could hit a bit of trouble at this airport too. Those aforementioned paragons of customer service on duty will pretend they can’t understand a word of English.
Kiev Borispol, Ukraine
It’s the same old, same old here with yet more stories of overcrowding, substandard facilities, ridiculously long queues and unfriendly customs staff speaking a language you have no chance of understanding. This will be one of the major airports for the forthcoming European football championships in the summer of 2012. Well, do yourself a favour, save yourself the dual heartache of seeing England’s football team wimp out in the qualifying stages and wasting your life in this airport.
March 2nd, 2012
Tushar Mathur
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